i spell it with an e

I wore a green suit jacket to work today.
I was going to wear it out to the bar afterwards to meet some friends but it was already twelve-thirty when I got home and one girl was already sick and had gone off to bed, causing the other girl to come pick me up to get dinner instead of drinking. She told me the jacket made me look like a leprechaun and I shouted that was the point and then I felt bad and took it off.
Then she ruined my life by putting sugar or sweetener in my drink so I chewed up a bunch of french toast and bacon and opened my mouth to show it to her.
I told her to buy me a shot of whiskey and she said okay so then I said buy me five and she said no.