Monday, July 25, 2005

we can rebuild him

The little rich girl didn’t want a squirrel, she wanted an Oompa Loompa.
And wasn’t there a werewolf somewhere in the original? You know, after the big scene with the cheerleaders wrestling topless in the big vat of marshmallow goo?
I’m sure it was before Dracula went to town on the factory creating an army of vampiric Oompa Loompas that took over London and forced the few remaining humans to live in hiding underground in the sewer system. Remember when Charlie had to do battle with his undead Grandfather and they filmed it like a badly choreographed fight scene in Kung Fu, the Legend Continues? That voiceover by David Carridy about how killing family members was okay when they were technically already dead inside really warmed my heart. Also, since when did Charlie have a family?

Yeah, Roald Dahl was one hell of a writer. I’m sure Mr. Burton will more than make up for today’s shortcomings when they release Corpse Bride.

Also, here’s Obligatory Cottage Picture Number One:

I call this one “Colin tries to re-start the boat while hippy Laura spreads peace and love”, and I mean obligatory in more of a voluntary sense.