Friday, April 08, 2005

insomnia hurts my brain

I wish I lived in ancient times, back in the days upon which all our current mythology is based. I would definitely be king, because not being king would make me angry. Being angry would not be conducive to the whole other-people-living thing. I wouldn’t bother ruling through tyranny, as all that violence and fear is rather unnecessary once you’re in power. It’s simply a catalyst for ascension to the throne.
I would walk the streets of my city openly, so that my citizens would be able to bask in my aura of greatness. I would allow them to surround me in flocks and tell me how great I was, and bring me shiny things.
Every once in a while I would go around shouting, “This is my decree!” but never actually follow up with anything, thus leaving everyone confused and worried that they might in some way be doing something that violated the unsaid decree.
Sometimes I would draw pictures and hang them on my castle walls. Then I would force the whole city to line up for hours in order to be filed in one at a time to marvel at my artistic skill. I would then select one person at random, and say that the gods had marked them. This would mean that had to go on a pilgrimage to climb to the top of a nearby gigantic mountain to appease Zeus. If they made it back, they would receive a pig and a bunny rabbit. If they were never heard from again, their family would sack of turnips. I would know whether they really climbed the mountain because another one of my drawings would be in a cave at the summit. They would have to tell me what it was before they received their reward. It would be of a kitty.

Tonight was the last night to see
“Thebans”, starring Rob Krazewski,
presented by Ryerson. If you didn’t go then don’t worry, you can still enjoy the reflected glory of the lucky/cool people who did. Send all e-mails of adoration to
Also, I've heard the Kaiser Chiefs three times on the radio since Rob mentioned them yesterday and you should go buy Absolution, by The Muse because it came out forever ago and you have no excuse for not owning it yet. Then I should go buy The Dears’, No Cities Left, because it’s been out for way longer.