Friday, February 11, 2005

No, I don't have a cellphone, so fuck right off

Me: Hey there, how's it going?

Cashier: What would you like?

Me: I was wondering if I could get some change for the telephone.

Cashier: I can't open the till without a sale.

Me: Oh, well how much for one of those chocolatey things?

Cashier: (glances over to chocolate marshmallowy brownie square) $1.59

Me: Damn. How about that muffin?

Cashier: $1.59

Me: Look, what's the cheapest thing I can get from you?

Cashier: (looks around) A packet of jam or butter.

Me: How much?

Cashier: Twenty-five cents.

Me: I'll take one order of jam please.

Cashier: Strawberry or grape?

Me: Strawberry.

Cashier: (picks up packet, drops it on the floor, picks it back up and gives it to me after wiping it on apron) Here you go.

Me: Thanks.

End of conversation.