Sunday, February 13, 2005

a Colin before a Colin before time...

A prequel:

The Colin that is, is the Colin that was, but not the Colin that will be.
You see, Colin never quite fit in. Not in the way that a lot of people don’t fit in. It’s not that he wanted to, but couldn’t. It wasn’t like that at all. It was a conscious choice. Since the beginning of his non-existence, Colin had studied the world around him. He had listened to the way the others spoke, and he had watched the way they used each other. Colin didn’t only study people though. He also studied that which would one day be nature. Nature could be cruel. It could be harsh and unforgiving. One thing that Colin had learned quickly was not to piss nature off. At the same time though, he was drawn to it. He was drawn not to the ferocity with which nature could act, but to the underlying equilibrium beneath those actions. Nature was about balance.
Having realized the importance of stability, Colin went back to his studies of potential people. Looking at them now, he could see that there was indeed an underlying sense of order to their actions. It was however, different than the laws by which nature was governed. The human order was unstable. It seemed to draw its strength from the greater need, but was much too easily twisted and shaped around the needs of one. Those that would be humans were too easily ruled by their own desire, or worse, their greatest fears.
Colin was distraught, for he feared that he too, would one day be forced to give into the certainty of instability. Thus, he studied some more. He watched and waited. Time passed, and one day, Colin found what he needed. He realized that his fear of instability, was all that was keeping him in flux. After all, it wasn’t that some things were more real than others. It was that nothing was real at all. Rather than fear the volatility of the world, he would embrace it. And so, Colin regained his sanity by parting with his hold on an insubstantial reality. Vowing to live his life for himself, and respecting those that did the same so long as they did not do harm to others, he marched on, whistling all the way.